Music has been a part of me all my life. I wanted to be a singer or play an instrument as a child. I tried to join the chorus but the teacher said I couldn’t sing. I wanted to learn to play the piano but my mom said I had to play the clarinet or flute. I choose the clarinet. I learned to dabble a little on an organ and later on a keyboard. Yet I never became proficient at playing any instrument.
Writing has been my main avenue of self-expression since I couldn’t seem to express it in music myself and depended on others music to speak. Songs and lyrics have been my verbal expression of my feelings and emotions. I even took a songwriting class in my thirties.
I ended up dancing. Tap dancing, ballet dancing, modern dance, expressive dance. Dancing became my connection to the music. The way I expressed the music I was hearing in my soul.
Music has gotten me through feelings of loneliness, unhappiness, emptiness, sadness, grief, and depression. It lifted my spirit gave me moments of joy and happiness. It created moments of life and living. It gave me hope when I was feeling despair. It got me through moments of weakness and helped me find inner strength in reserve.
Music has played an influential role in my life. It has helped express feelings and emotions that I was unable to express outwardly. It gave me strength during times of difficulties. It was my refuge when I needed to hide. It was my secret place. My cocoon to feel safe, and gather strength and inspiration. It gave me back my life at a time my life I felt empty and barren.
A country singer by the name of John Michael Montgomery filled me with hope when I wasn’t sure there was any life for me. With his music, specifically with the song, Life’s a Dance, he helped me find a spark of spirt inside, I thought was gone forever.
I even go to meet him at a concert!
Soon after Martina McBride offered me strength and courage. I play Martina McBride when I want to feel comfort and angels sing and to feel empowered. Of all the singers it is her voice that I envy. It evokes memories, it resonates through my body, it comforts my heart and it feels at peace within my soul.
One of her songs, From The Ashes written by Hillary Lindsey and Austin Cunningham, was my anthem for a long. During the time I was in the middle of the fire burning down the old walls waiting for the smoke to pass it gave me hope that I could step into becoming a new stronger person. It helped me discard the past and prepare to be reborn. Another of her songs, The Ride, is my current theme song.
Then when I had fallen lost again, a man I met at a retreat center revived my love of music and dance. It brought my connection to my body and spirit back into the world. Music became personal again. I began going to hear local artists and friends who played. Through them, I came back to music and dance.
Music gave me a way to get back into myself. Music gave me a passion to reenter life.
Music can be a powerful tool for self-reflection, self-discovery and self-expression. Our choices in music can give us clues to our authentic self. We can find hidden pieces and move us more fully into our being and true selves.
Every generation can be identified with the music it grew up on, the music that came out of it tells a story of the times. It tells of their hopes, fears, beliefs, and experiences. In my own life music has impacted my development, character and growth.
Music has found a way back into the foundation of my life. I hear live music every week. I have friends who play and have bands. Though I long to join them playing and singing, I dance my heart out! Even when I have had a long day and am tired, I go listen to my friends play and I get a second wind. It revives my body and spirit.
Music has played a large part in my life. It has had moments of great significance, defining and commemorating events in my life. It has sometimes just been playing softly in the background. It has been consistent and steady. Like family and friends, participating in important moments always there to lean on. Music is a part of my life, a part of me. Music is my best friend.