Personal Essay spiritual development Spirituality

Dark Night of the Soul


The last couple of years have been a whirlwind in my life. Life seemed stuck and circumstances of the world and her situations took hold of my life.  It surprised me that I allowed it to suck my energy and drain me as much as it did. the unsettledness of life, having to move two times in one year. My life was on hold. I was in a mode of having to work with the outside circumstances and the inside of myself was pushed aside. 

So even though of us who know better often still have ourselves taken over by life circumstances and experiences. I am grateful for my spiritual rituals and foundations that helped my maneuver the best I could through the process of day to day. Once I was somewhat settled, my outside life had lost its colors and joy.

A dark night of the soul erupted. I recognized it this time where in the past I hadn’t recognized dark night of the soul until looking back later. Knowing the process, knowing that a dark night of the soul leads to a new evolution, I didn’t fight it and decided to just let it unfold.

It is this dark night of the soul that has pushed forth once again the realization that I have stepped away from my core being .I started with the realization of having stepped out of alignment with myself yet again.

Knowing it is time to let go of my day job, that has been my financial foundation for my living my dream of living at an island at the beach. Up until 2020, I had been able to balance my day job with my passions of writing, women’s personal development and well-being programs and my love of the beach and ocean. 

At that time,  I let the day job become center, as world circumstances and life situations look hold of my concentration and energy. And by the time late last year things had begun to settle down I realized that the things that were important to me had been neglected. And that possible even that those things and that possibly time to more forward in a new direction. 

I had been changed but I had also lost my center of being as well. 

The process has taken on some of my foundational techniques and a few new ones as well. I have meditated, contemplated, journaled and been open to the messages of intuition, from the universe and the divine.

What has emerged so far is that my core being is spiritual. That my spiritual development has been the core of my process of my life’s journey. It has encompassed every experience and all my personal growth and development. It’s always been there even when I have pushed it back. 

And I have not been doing that these last couple of years. Time for me to step into my own authenticity more fully and work from my core being of spirituality. Reinventing my services as women’s spiritual growth and wellbeing.

Truth is I would have had this dark night of the soul even if these last couple of years of world and life circumstances hadn’t happened .It has been time for me to move into the next stage of my own spiritual journey. At most it has just been delayed and intensified because of the experiences of the last couple of years. 

It is a slower process than I would like. But any spiritual development moves on divine timing, not my time. I would like to leap into the next step of my life now, 

Life on the outside looks the same right now, nothing has changed. Some days I come home and focus on what I do know I can do. Picking up on old creative projects/writing projects that I had left sitting.

In the meantime, I keep meditating, contemplating, walking the beach, journaling and looking at my collection of sticky notes I have stuck on the mirror on my dresser, those sticky nots contain insights, things that are important to me, and things that bring my joy and messages I have received during my process. 

On somedays those insights come. 

Spirituality plays a role in my step forward. 

The foundation of my work revolves around the spiritual well-being of women’s development.

I have tried to mainstream my writing, my creative projects and the work I have done and the work I have been doing. Holding back my central core, spirituality, women’s spirituality.

Authenticity is a foundational element of my writing and coaching of guiding women to listen to their heart, and their intuition and follow them to a move through all aspects of light with confidence and spirit of being and joy.

I will keep allowing the dark night of my soul to unfold but I feel the pull now. I feel that I am moving into the next step of my personal growth. That step will have me stepping out and into my role as a spiritual guide in some way. 

Over our life as we transition through our experiences and into more of our self, our true being. It is both a personal growth and a spiritual growth. Some of us recognize the spiritual aspect of our journey while others don’t see it but we all are evolving through our journey of soul. 

Each time we evolve, we change, sometimes even reinvent ourselves. I have reinvented myself when I moved to the beach. Now it is time to reinvent myself and my work closer to my core being. 

My goal of course is to be of help and service to other women. I look forward to how it will unfold. 

Don’t be afraid of entering a Dark Night of the Soul. It is a time of breakthrough in your Journey of Your Soul. Embrace each Dark Night of the Soul. It is a step forward in your spiritual development.

You will move forward into the next level of your soul’s development and transform your life and yourself.  

Follow Me

Recommended Articles