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Book Excerpt: Through the Woods to the Sea

The outlook is shadowy and indistinct. I feel empty and non-existent. Nothing makes any sense and answers are lost in the distant fog. I have been wandering aimlessly for years unable to regain any focus. This confusion is unsettling. Inadequacy and doubt like vertigo distorts my balance. I fearfully wander in a vast and empty, yet deeply emotional wilderness.
As I wrestle with the darkness, a rush of panic rips a hole in my heart. I struggle to catch my breath as I drown in the depths of emotions that are rising and falling, like storm waves of a violent hurricane crashing against a rocky shoreline. An immobilizing lack of confidence and fear has forced me into a junction of significant change.
I find myself in a place where I have lost my sense of identity, questioning the structure and the rules of the world and my faith in God. I am standing in a time of uncertainty with negative thoughts, fears, and judgments escalating all the voices in my head.
My life is falling apart. I am watching my life fall away, piece by piece.

Author Insight

It has happened more than one time in my life. Pieces of life or pieces of myself fall apart. Panic sets in. Confusion and unsettling thoughts. Worries and fears of what will happen next. Or the feeling like I can’t accomplish my dreams or create anything worthwhile.

In those day to day moments life was unfolding, I was unfolding. I was entrenched in the journey of becoming. And I did breakthrough

The current world situation has broken apart and unsettled parts of me and my life. Still, I am still unfolding even though I feel like I am stuck in a holding pattern again.

I have to wonder what the breakthrough will be. What will come in to take the place to replace the missing pieces? I hope some of the missing pieces will return. But what is rising out of the empty spaces?

The weaving of myself and my life with the world are beyond my creation. It always surprises me and impresses me.

So on days I feel like the outlook is shadowy, and nothing makes any sense and the confusion is unsettling when I am wandering lost in the wilderness. I remind myself that amazing new creations rise out of the empty spaces.