Personal Essay

A Sense of Place – A Sense of Self

If one believes in astrology then it makes sense that I am so at home at the sea. I am a Pisces, two fish swimming in opposite directions, one swimming with the current and the other against the current. This sums up my life in simple terms. I grew up with two distinct parts of myself in conflict with each other.

When I arrived on this island I knew I had found home even though it was far away from everyone and everything I had ever known. Home is not an address. For me it is a place that speaks to my soul, a sense of place, a sense of belonging, a sense of identity, a sense of self, a sense of being. A place where I feel at peace, where everything comes together, where I feel inspired, connected to my inner wisdom, where my spirit is nurtured and cared for.

The ocean is my soul. It gives me peace. It touches my heart. It gives me love. It gives me joy. It gives me hope. It gives me life. I am blessed and graced because of it. I am grateful for the abundance it brings to me, for the substance and nourishment that it provides me. I can never again live without being near her.

The ocean with her magnificent waves, her depth and expansiveness out to the horizon is my home. It is where I belong.

Because I live on an island, no matter how good or bad the day is, I get to see the magnificent ocean. I slip into a peaceful state of relaxation where all my cares and woes drift out to sea. The ocean brings her energy to me and she revives me. My senses come alive. I see clearly. I hear the songs of the waves. I smell each scent that blows on the wind. I taste the water and the air. I feel the particles of sand on my feet and particles of water and salt on my skin.

The ocean reaches into my weakest moments and reminds that I am strong. The waves lull me into the present moment….into stillness. Life is determined in the present moment and its glory is in the details.

The different colors of the ocean can change in an instant. It shifts and changes with the light right before my eyes. The colors can range between a grey green to glistening blue with white dancing dots to hundreds of shades not just green and blue but purple, pink, brown and black. It is diverse from shore to horizon in any given moment. I might miss it if I am not paying attention.

Here I look out over her surface to the horizon and stand on the horizon of myself, my hopes and dreams. My life is contained within the depths of her.

The beach is the in-between place between the ocean and the land. It is where transition and change take place. It is a sacred space of healing and comfort. Here on the beach, I can experience all of the shades of life and self.

I sit on the beach and dream. I listen to the wisdom of the sea…so many lessons to learn….so many joys to experience…so much beauty to see. It is all here to savor.

The beach is where I have contemplated life, my life, where I have been, where I am going.

I come here with my confusion and a restless spirit, disconnected and broken. I come here with all of my faults, my inadequacies, my regrets, my sadness, my heartache. I give them all to the sea, tossing them into the wind and into the waves.

I come here with my joy and happiness. I come here with my gratitude and love. I come here with abundance to share. It is the cradle that allows me to experience the ocean.

Here on the beach everything comes together. I never know what I will find on the beach. I may be alone and find myself basking in stillness and serenity. I may find connection and friendship with others. I may find playfulness and fun. I may find a storm brewing off shore, racing towards me. As the landscape of the beach is changed by the tides of the sea I am changed by my experiences of the beach.

The ocean is my foundation. It has shaped my sense of self, my identity. It is a deep part of who I am, and where I am. Each encounter and experience with the ocean has nurtured my growth and development. I have grown into myself on each journey to Bermuda, the Caribbean, each beach on each island I have visited, each cruise I have taken.

I have grown into the person who I am because of those journeys, because of my connection to the sea. I have become human again, found my way through my demons and challenges. I continue to grown stronger and more into my being and into my fullest potential as I continue to live and travel the ocean.

I love sea days, when the ship is in the ocean with no land in sight, surrounded by her expansiveness, her magnificence. I feel strong and happy, content and exhilarated. I live on an island at the beach. I vacation on a cruise on the ocean and visit a new beach on each island. Each experience adds another dimension to me. It changes how I see and experience myself and my life.

Living and traveling the ocean and her shores is a part of me. It is who I am. It makes me who I am. It is my life. It is my home. I am dancing on the beach of life. I am ready and excited for the next journey.

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